The greatest fuel any human can put in their body is generally the most overlooked on any menu—water. It might not be the sexiest or most thrilling item served during a night out, but water can make or break a meal. One friend of mine, who waits tables at an unnamed restaurant chain, recently recounted a tale of a customer concerned about “LA death water.” Said customer assumed the kitchen came equipped with water filters to protect its clientele. As anyone living in the city can tell you, coming home after a week’s vacation means clearing out the murky water stored in your pipes before cooking or cleaning. When it comes to ordering water at restaurants, there are a few keys to enjoying your water while avoiding the murk.
First, ninety-nine percent of restaurants do not filter their tap water. Classy establishments may offer bottled water, but filtering the free water flowing from the city treatment plants is a rarity. Tip number two on ordering water: get your water ice free if you want to gauge its true taste. The chill of ice water masks any bizarre flavorings in a glass of H2O. Water without ice also adds a bit of European style and sophistication to the dining experience. Lastly, take advantage of restaurants that provide a quality bottled water. I don’t mean the usual Crystal Geyser or Dasani, or even atrociously priced fizzy water. Nothing satisfies so subtly as smooth, clean French or Italian bottled water. For a less expensive Eastern treat, give cucumber water a shot some time (Mr. HANA at Westfield Century City). It’s not an every night of the week decision, but once in a while it gives your body a break from the red, white, and amber. You can even drive home safely without guessing how many margaritas equals a DUI.
—Jeremy Millington
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